Sex After Low Libido- yo!

Navigating my sexual life during the portal of my mother’s death has been enlightening and liberating. I learned that trying to keep my ‘fragile’ libido alive through my self pleasure practices and jade egg practice was actually limiting and was reinforcing scarcity.

I felt like I ‘should’ self-pleasure every day or every other day, especially since I was away from my ‘sexploration’ partner and risked losing my hard won progress.

But that thought process created stress and a push-pull tug of war inside of me. That was not a place of self-honoring and trusting my body— that was a place of lack and judgement and was coming from being outside of my body— in an idea, a ‘should’.

I had to learn to trust that my sexual energy wasn’t going to evaporate because I was choosing to be fully immersed in my mother’s passing and in doing what needed to be done.I did not give up on my Yoni, nor did I stick to a self-pleasure schedule.

We stayed connected in a more gentle, organic flow after I realized that my Jade egg practice didn’t feel right in this moment.

I had given myself a 2 month day deadline to settle all the details and objects of my mother’s rich, artistic life as I wanted to spend Christmas with my sister in Calgary.

My mother’s legacy deserved high level focus and care and my Yoni needed pressure-free spaciousness to soften and open.I share this because each of us will likely go through changes and challenges where our self-pleasure practices will shift or pause possibly.

Being kind and gentle with ourselves will soften and open us much more than adhering to a rigid, fear-motivated schedule— though sticking to a regular practice is also supportive. There are no set rules, here.

Low libido has been an ‘issue’ for me, most of my adult life and I am focusing on it in menopause of all times— seemingly the most challenging time— and yet it’s getting interesting! Instead of judging myself as deficient, I am seeing that it is NOT a Problem! How refreshing is that?

I will be sharing more about it as there is so much more to say!

She shares how she spaciously navigates low libido in her relationship. And though she works with couples with newborns and young children— there is so much crossover with those of us in menopause, peri and post.

Low libido happens at any age and we can definitely learn from each other how to navigate it.

And now. back in Marin after being away for 4 whole months  and after  2 fun sexploration rendezvouses (yes, that is the plural form!)—I am realizing that I am in better shape than I was before I left! 

Wow!  How is it possible that I was able to get juicier and have G-spot pleasure more easily than ever?

Something has shifted and it’s not because of what I thought  would shift it i.e.  a rigorous self-pleasure and jade egg practice!  At least not one that came from fear motivation 😉

There are more factors at play in this so-called ‘low libido’ arena — one of which is listening  and full self-acceptance of my libido exactly as she is in any given moment.    I will be delving deeper into other factors that I am exploring in the coming weeks.

If ‘low libdio’ is  a sore spot for you— whether in menopause or at any age— you will start to shift your perspective through this series of emails as well as from this podcast with Sofia Ashley. 

The truth is, is we need more sex ed!  And Sofia offers not only sex ed but sex coaching examples, personal experience and humour in this podcast.  I have more short clips of this episode to share to explore this subject if you don’t want to hunker down and listen to the whole thing. 

Love your Libido however it is showing up!  Calling your libido, ‘low’, as I have done for a long time, is not doing your libido or you any favours.  So-called ‘low’ libido may not be low at all.  It just might be sleepy and waiting for the right set of circumstances to wake up 😉

Exciting, right?

To be continued!

To your awesome libido— exactly as she is, right now!

Love,
Michelle